A dubious Top 10

[ FEBRUARY 4, 2010 - OKLAHOMA CITY, OK ] - The other night, I caught an ESPN story about a law in Ada, Oklahoma that could land you in jail for wearing New York Jets apparel. Ada Mayor Roger Cupps responded, claiming the law existed only as an urban legend and that he had been unable to find it in any town ordinance.

We've all heard of these strange laws—laws that are on the books, yet all but impossible to explain. Triggered by the New York Jets controversy in Ada, I did some research into offbeat, obscure laws (real or imagined) in Oklahoma.

Before revealing the results, compiled from various sources, I must advise that—unlike Ada's ban on the New York Jets—in the event that any of what follows turns out to be enforceable, you break these laws at your own risk.

Top Ten List of Ludicrous Laws in Oklahoma:

1) It is illegal for the owner of a bar to pretend to have sex with a buffalo. This is definitely good to know, if for no other reason than to broaden the horizon (there are, after all, plenty of other animals out there that aren't buffalos).

2) It is a crime to drive while reading a comic book. Of course, talking on the phone, texting and e-mailing while eating a hamburger and fries is perfectly okay.

3) Speaking of hamburgers, it is illegal to take a bite out of someone else's hamburger.

4) I've never been much of a fisherman, but Oklahoma outdoorsmen, consider yourselves warned: whaling is illegal.

5) It is also illegal to place the hind legs of a farm animal in your boots. There's that sex-with-animals theme again. That is what they're referring to, isn't it?

6) People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined or jailed.

7) It is illegal to spit on a sidewalk. Personally, I'm all for this one (as well as the next).

8) It is illegal to carry fish in a fishbowl while on a public bus. Don't you just hate it when you're riding along on the bus and some guy transporting a bowl full of water and fish sits next to you? Rude!

9) Oral sex is a crime punishable by jail time and a stiff fine.

10) Horse-tripping events are illegal. This outlaw activity involves a contest to see who can trip a horse galloping at full speed using a lasso and should not be confused with cow-tipping, which is completely acceptable.

Oklahomans are not alone.

Other states have strange, if not similar, laws. In Virginia, chickens are a protected species (when not being served for dinner). In Tennessee, it is illegal to sell beer and pretzels at the same time in a bar. In Delaware, it is against the law to bathe two babies in the same tub. In Connecticut, crossing the street while standing on your hands is expressly forbidden. Finally, in New Mexico, it is illegal for a woman to appear unshaven in public.

Speaking of strange, how about Lady Gaga and her song, Teeth! "Don't be scared / I've done this before / Show me your teeth / Show me your teeth / Show me your teeth." There really should be a law…